Posts Tagged ‘sarcasm (in case any idiots are reading this)’

Precognition

October 22, 2012

“Yes, it’s those bloody scientists again. If they can’t even predict such a simple thing as an unpredictable natural disaster, of course they should be held responsible for all the destruction! I mean, what are we supposed to do? We don’t have magical powers or see visions, do we? Look, just look at the state of that altar! Awful.”

Greenwar

June 28, 2010

Okay, here’s the news: ‘Green’ ammo shipped to Afghanistan.

You may laugh at the sheer absurdity of such an idea, but let me explain.

Imagine all the lead and depleted uranium that used to pollute our environment as well as killing people. (Well, only our extended environment so far, but you never know what they’ll think of next.) This will all be a thing of the past soon. The pollution, not the killing, that is.

Okay, it’s not bio-degradable yet but I’m sure the technology for that is just around the corner. (Although demanding organic and fair trade ammo is probably pushing it a bit too far.)

Using lead in ammo really was a crying shame, considering that killing humans in itself is actually extremely eco-friendly. It not only eases the chronic overpopulation of our planet, but also reduces the victim’s ecological footprint from more than a global hectare to a very local, six-foot-by-two-foot rectangle.