Patent

What with all the patent wars raging on between tech companies, patent trolls and various others all over the world, I too have decided to enter the game.

My resources are obviously meagre, so buying an ailing company for its patent armament is a non-starter and inventing something useful would require talent I don’t possess, and it may even be hard work, which is frankly the last thing I want.

Luckily “inventions” patented nowadays don’t have to be useful, tangible or indeed even original, so I might still be in with a chance. But what already existing thing can I possibly patent that would bring me the millions I so desperately crave?

And then it struck me while I was leafing through the Sunday edition of my local newspaper, one of those reassuringly reliable UK institutions, filled with bizarre non-stories and endless pages of readers moaning about everything.

Yes.

That’s it.

I’m going to patent the concept of disappointment.

And if you now think “Damn, why didn’t I think about that?”, expect a letter from my lawyers soon.

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