Archive for February, 2012

Experiment

February 23, 2012

It’s official: special relativity was a mistake.

Today it emerged that a thorough check of the equipment used by Messrs Michelson and Morley in their now famous experiment revealed tiny specks of dirt on one of the mirrors.

While many phantasists were understandably disappointed on hearing the news, not everyone is sad to see Einstein’s theory toppled.

‘Thankfully, sanity prevailed,’ said one physicist who wishes to stay anonymous. ‘As pretty as Einstein’s theory was mathematically, the notion of a non-absolute time would’ve gone against all the great progress we had been making in modern physics.’

‘Now that we’ve finally put this ridiculous E=mc2 business behind us, we will see the beginning of a new, glorious era of luminiferous aether-based technology’, he concluded.

Love

February 16, 2012

So, oxytocin isn’t the universal love hormone everyone (let’s be honest, mostly hippies) expected it to be. It turns out that in some cases it can amplify envy, schadenfreude, even xenophobia.

Of course this comes as no surprise to anyone who’s ever heard a sentence starting with “Speaking as a mother…”