Stonework

‘What have we learned today?’, turned Ug, the stonework teacher theatrically towards the class he only liked to think of “as a bunch of gracilis tossers.”
‘An algebraic extension of an algebraic extension is algebraic.’, boomed the tossers in unison.
‘One more of your cheeky rhymes and it’s cave cleaning for you all. And trust me, removing graffiti isn’t fun. So once more, what have we learned today?’
‘Stone is harder than wood?’, ventured a squeaky voice at the back.
‘Very good. Very, very good indeed, young Kruskal.’, nodded Ug. ‘Some of you little knuckle-dragging troglodytes might want to take note if you are to achieve something in life at all. You, in that ugly red pullover, what’s your name?’
‘Kuratowski, sir.’
‘How are you progressing with your chipped obsidian knife blade?’
‘Not very well, sir.’
‘Oh, dear. What is it now?’
‘I keep wondering what makes a finite graph planar ‘
‘Good fucking grief. And what makes them planar?’
‘Apparently, sir, apparently, the fact that they aren’t a subdivision of a complete graph of five vertices or a complete bipartite graph of six vertices is enough.’
‘You’re bloody useless, Kuratowski. You two at the back, ’Seymour and Robertson, don’t think I can’t see that you’re passing papers back and forth to each other. What is it that’s so bloody important it can’t wait till the end of the class?’
They’re only some theorems about minors, sir.’
‘Minors? Well, minors are fucking forbidden from now on.’
‘Exactly sir, and they characterise a family of graphs.’
‘That’s carving ten extra arrowheads for you, cheeky sod. Right, all of you get back to work now. We’ve got a mammoth to kill in the afternoon. That’s what I call a mammoth task, ahaha.’

(Based on a true story. All the theorems mentioned have been proven.)

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