A List of Mildly Annoying Things

The ability and the urge to make lists is probably one of the things that makes us human. It’s easy to imagine that well before inventing chipped stone tools or language our early hominid ancestors had already been compiling lists of the ten prettiest females in the savannah, the twelve tastiest species of hooved animals or the five worst things to do when ambushed by a predator while taking a dump.

This means that by now almost everything has been compiled into lists, even lists and probably lists of lists too. Almost everything, but not quite everything, because there are things that are just too ordinary and average to make it to either a best-of or a worst-of list. In particular, there are things that are definitely not pleasant but at the same time extremely trivial, nowhere near awful or important enough to have a moan about it. Not even on the Internet or in Britain. And I think that’s rather harsh, why shouldn’t they have their own list too?.

So with that in mind, here’s my list of mildly annoying things.

  1. Realising that the incredibly dumb forum post that you wanted to reply to is three years old.
  2. Missing a bus but knowing another one will be around in five minutes.
  3. Having to repeat the punchline of a joke because the sound of a passing lorry drowned it out.
  4. Discovering that someone left the door of the office fridge slightly ajar.
  5. TV ads being slightly louder than the programme.
  6. A tiny speck of toothpaste on your shirt that you only notice in the afternoon.
  7. Slightly cold feet.
  8. Forks that are bent out of shape.
  9. Forgetting the password of an unused bank account.
  10. Realising that the incredibly dumb forum post that you wanted to reply to is three years old and yours.
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