Archive for October, 2009

Best of British

October 20, 2009

My favourite TV show has to be Antiques Roadshow. It’s not the actual show I like so much but imagining what the initial brainstorming session would’ve been like.

‘Hey, I’ve got an idea!’
“Hear, hear. We’re bloody bored and haven’t had a coffee for…exactly 38 minutes, so make it quick.’
‘Okay, okay. So, first we gather a bunch of art boffins who travel around the country.’
‘And then?’
‘And then people can bring all their crap to them and have it valued.’
‘And then?’
‘And then we capture their facial expressions as they’re being told how much their junk is actually worth.’
‘And then?’
‘Well, that’s it really.’

In every other country of the world they would’ve told the guy to fuck off and that the next round of coffee was on him.

People like us

October 13, 2009

Whatever people may say, however useless it seems sometimes, the Freedom of Information Act is crucial. It can be argued that knowing the number of Jedi officers working for Strathclyde Police isn’t that important. (Eight, by the way.) Neither is whether foods or drinks are served during Privy Council meetings. (They are not.) And does it really matter that Bristol City Council owns approximately 35 ceremonial robes?

But the point is that they shouldn’t be laughed at because somewhere out there someone wants to know all this.

I say they shouldn’t be, but sometimes you just can’t resist the temptation.

Cardboard officers.

Vox Pop

October 13, 2009


October 6, 2009

I’m so universally useless that if I entered a self-deprecating competition, I’d probably come last.